“There’s something dark about There’s Something About Mary”

by Jer Hayes

I’ve only witnessed a spontaneous standing ovation for a film in a cinema on two occasions. One was for Schindler’s List and the other was for There’s Something About Mary. They were not on the same double bill. The latter is often seen as a mix of raunchy, over-the-top humor and romance, a formula that proved to be a box-office success. But is it really a romantic comedy or is it something darker?

The premise of the movie is that the main character, Ted Stroehmann (Ben Stiller), has been obsessed with his high school crush, Mary Jensen (Cameron Diaz), for years. Later in life, he hires a private detective to track her down. Is this a romantic comedy or the beginning of a film about an obsessed killer? Of course, he doesn’t try to kill her; though it does end with someone taking potshots at him. But ultimately, this film is about obsession, and several of the characters, aside from Ted, are completely consumed by it.

Who is Mary? She represents the idealized female. Is she a fully rounded character? No, but that might get in the way. She is an object of desire, and presumably, making her more real would shatter that ideal.

Ted has a pathological fixation with Mary, or rather, his idea of Mary. He really needs a therapist but instead hires a private detective. It’s okay to stalk someone in romantic comedies, by the way—it’s not creepy at all. It makes him vulnerable and lovable, apparently. This is part of the suspension of disbelief, but perhaps it reflects our discomfort with these actions. If we view them as comedy, then they are okay. If Ted were real, he would not be so lovable.

Where the film hits a truth despite itself is in its portrayal of male desire. In a sense, Mary does not matter; ‘winning’ Mary and beating the other suitors is all that counts. Even calling them suitors is a stretch—most are not welcomed by Mary.

She only matters until she picks one.

All of the suitors exhibit over-the-top behavior. Everything is played for laughs, of course, but each of them appears to be driven by some form of mental pain. The private detective, Pat Healy (Matt Dillon), transforms into a stalker, fabricating a persona to win Mary’s affection.

Does he have a personality disorder? It doesn’t matter—please don’t think about it and just laugh.

The fake architect, played by Lee Evans, hints at a possible narcissistic personality disorder with elements of grandiose delusion. Maybe if they remade now he could say he was the president.

Comedies are for concealing pain, not for dealing with it directly.

The characters’ pain and anguish cannot dominate, or it wouldn’t be funny. There’s Something About Mary asks us to laugh at obsession, to suspend disbelief about what would otherwise be disturbing behavior. But what happens when we strip that away? What remains is something darker, a study of men who believe they are owed love. They believe that they can win Mary and in the end they are proven right.